Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Midlife crisis before reaching mid life?

Is it possible to be plagued with more life and career anxiety after now being a few years in the workforce rather than at college graduation? There’s not a week that goes by where I don’t ask myself “Am I doing this right?” or say “I’d give anything for nap time to be instated.” At 26, it’s finally clicking with me that I am in fact, not invincible. I can not do it all.

My husband and I just recently purchased our first home and like any other dreaming American, we have many plans in hopes of making it our own. We’ve learned that planning is one thing, but actually muscling the elbow grease (or forking over the money) to put things into motion is another. In college we can study all night, go out with friends, and take exams at eight am without skipping a beat. Nowadays we’re lucky if we can make it to ten pm. My whole perspective on life and my capabilities is changing. Dare I say it, but were my parents right? You mean they do know what they are talking about? It’s hard work to balance a career, family, and social life. Throw bills and continuing education into the mix and you’ve got a pretty heavy load on your shoulders. I tip my hat to those who work full time and come home at the end of the day only to switch from Employee #87561 to Employee #Mom/Dad/Wife/Husband.

While it’s pretty depressing to think about wide eyed youthful days slipping away, it’s also pretty fulfilling to look back on where we’ve come from and where we’re going. To think about the sacrifices my family has made and the time my mentors have spent on me makes me really thankful. It’s also humbling to think of those who may not be equipped with the same blessings. It’s a long, hard road to adulthood and it’s an even longer and harder one to stay on track.

To my fellow “young professionals” who may feel like the waves are rockier than expected, all I can say is keep going. These ups, downs, and uncertainties is what life is made of. You will trip and fall. You will come to a fork in the road. Just keep going and surround yourself with people who will push you to continue and make you give one hundred and ten percent.

So here I am, Employee #7827364, reporting for duty. Mind passing the apsecreme?

Thursday, November 04, 2010

You had 9 lives and 1 by 1 you chewed them up...

It's been one month today that my Dad passed away.  Tomorrow would have been his 50th birthday.  For most of my life, my Dad was a deadbeat who'd rather spend his money on drugs than child support.  From ages 13-25, we did not see each other.  From 15-25, we did not speak.  Last year, my Dad went into a coma and had heart surgery.  He had dialysis three days a week.  This year, he had heart surgery...again.  Heavy smoker.  Horrible eating habits.  Type 2 diabetes.  Noting to live for before it was too late.

In 2009, my Uncle convinced me to come down to Tampa to see my Dad, as he was in horrible shape and it was obvious that time was running out.  I had a lot of anger towards my Dad.  I planned to give him hell and show him how much better I was than him.  I sat outside as a bloated and already defeated figure made his way outside.  It was an uncomfortable and sad, yet calming moment.  All of the hate and anger I had carried with me was nowhere to be found.  There was no need for me to punish this man...he has done enough of it to himself.  We reconciled during that trip and one year later we said goodbye. 

That past few months of this year were met with surgeries and stays in assisted living facilities.  The man had yet again been given another chance to straighten himself up, but he refused to do any of his physical therapy.  We visited him in the beginning of September.  The first week of October he was gone.  The last thing he said to me was that he was sorry that he was always sick when I saw him.  I knew by his tone he meant not only during these past two years, but when I was younger and he was sick from drug addiction. 

I can't begin to describe how my heart aches at the thought that i will never see, speak to, or know this man anymore.  However, I'm sure this pales in comparison to the remorse and regret I would have bared if I had not reconciled with him.  What hurts even more is that I'm heading in the same direction as him and won't get off my ass to do anything about it.  I'm 26 years old.  I'm overweight.  I'm prediabetic.  I take pills for high blood pressure, insulin resistance, and depression.  I shake my head at my father's actions, yet I do some of the same things myself.  I am a hypocrite and it burdens my heart and mind on a daily basis.

Why am I telling you all of this?  Because maybe I can use it to get the hell off my ass for once.

Wednesday, November 03, 2010

Start Something.

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Makeup Dupes = Money Saved (MAC Dupes)

These days everyone's pretty much trying to save money in any way they can....using coupons, buying store brands, and etc.  I used to have this list of MAC dupes posted, but took it down.  After thinking about it, I put it back up because it's a great way for people to save money.  Why pay more money for something when there's another item that's half the price and may work as well?  How crappy is it when you lust over a particular shadow shade only to get it home and realize it looks horrible?

Also, did you know that even though makeup may be branded under different names, one company may make the same product?  For example, Estee Lauder makes MAC, Flirt (found in Kohls), Clinique, Aveda, and Smashbox among others?  You can find MAC dupes really easily in the Flirt line of cosmetics at Kohls and pay half of what MAC charges.  And, because it's the same company, it's pretty much the same formula.  Also, L'Oreal makes Maybelline and Lancome, as well as its own line.

MAC Dupes
  • All That Glitters- NYX Champagne
  • Amber Lights- Milani Sun Goddess, NYX Golden, Coastal Scents S36
  • Aqua- Coastal Scents M12
  • Aquadisiac- Jane Millionare
  • Aquavert- Coastal Scents S01
  • Atlas- Ulta Silk
  • Azalea- Coastal Scents M18
  • Bamboo- Coastal Scents M04
  • Band on Blue- NYX Lanikai
  • Banshee- Milani Spice
  • Beaded- NYX Sahara
  • Beautiful Iris- Ulta Iris
  • Big T- NYX Wild Fire
  • Bitter- Coastal Scents S18
  • Black Tied -Milani Storm, Prestige Onyx, Jane Clubbing, Cover Girl Shimmering Onyx
  • Blue Brown- Loreal HIP duo in Intrepid
  • Blue Noir- Prestige Ink
  • Bold and Brazen- Coastal Scents S33
  • Brick- Coastal Scents S22
  • Brill- Coastal Scents S02
  • Bronze- Victoria's Secret Between the Sheets
  • Brulee- NYX Nude, Milani Almondine
  • Brun- Maybelline Natural Smokes Quad (Outer Corner color)
  • Camel- Revlon Pro Bamboo
  • Carbon -NYX Black
  • Casa Blanca- Coastal Scents M01
  • Charcoal Brown- Coastal Scents M16
  • Colbalt- Coastal Scents M15
  • Contrast- Coastal Scents S14
  • Coppering- Milani Flare, NYX Copper
  • Coquette- Almay Khaki Eye Gel
  • Cork- NYX Dark Brown, Cover Girl Swiss Chocolate
  • Cornflower- Physician's Formula Eye-Tech
  • Cranberry- Coastal Scents S17, NYX Rust
  • Crème de Violet- Aromaleigh's Pure Eyes Frost in Desire, Ulta Iris
  • Crystal- Loreal Beauty Queen on the Loose
  • Dark Soul (Pigment)- Jane Clubbing
  • Dazzleray (Pigment)- NYC Eye Dust in Champagne
  • D'Bohemia- Ulta Knit
  • Deep Truth- Coastal Scents S23, Loreal Night Fever
  • Dementhe- Milani Clover
  • Dreammaker- Coastal Scents S03
  • Electra- Coastal Scents S26, Jane Hi Ho Silver
  • Electric- Coral (Pigment) NYX Tropical
  • Electric- Eel Milani Atlantis, NYX Irises
  • Embark- Jane Brownie Points, Flirt Coconutty
  • Emote- NYX Taupe
  • Eyepopping- NYX Lime Juice
  • Fab and Flashy- NYX Golden Orange
  • Fire in Her Eyes- Neutrogena Nourishing Eye Duo in Iced Coffee (light color)
  • Fountainbleu- Coastal Scents M11
  • French Gray- NYX Iced Mocha
  • Freshwater- Coastal Scents S12
  • Gesso- Coastal Scents M19
  • Girl Meets Boy- NYX Antique Gold
  • Glare- Prestige Golden Sun, Ulta Silk
  • Going Bananas- NYX Yellow Pearl
  • Goldmine- Prestige Golden Retriever
  • Gorgeous- Gold Loreals Enlighted Emerald Duo
  • Guacamole- Milani Limbo Lime
  • Gulf Stream- Coastal Scents S25
  • Hepcat- Prestige Blossom
  • Honey Lust- Coastal Scents S09
  • Humid- Milani Clover, Ulta Shamrock, Wet n Wild Sensual Sage, NYX Mermaid
  • Hypnotique- Prestige Saturn
  • Hypnotizing- Maybelline Lavender Fields Quad (Crease color)
  • Jest- Milani Peachy Peach, Maybelline Pink Sands, Ulta Bermuda Sand
  • Jewel Blue- Jane Surfer Girl
  • Juxt- Milani Garden Mist, Coastal Scents S01, NYX Springleaf
  • Kelly- Coastal Scents S11, Coastal Scents M02
  • Kicky Blue- Loreal Holographic Blue
  • Knight Divine- Hard Candy In The Shadows Eye Shadow Collection in 022 Splendid (top charcoal color)
  • Leisure Time- Loreal On the Loose in Flash Light
  • Lime- Coastal Scents M03
  • Little Madam- Milani Illusion
  • Lucky Green- NYX Lime
  • Lustreleaf- Coastal Scents S01
  • Meadow- Coastal Scents M05
  • Meadowland- Loreal Wear Infinite in Glistening Sea
  • Meet the Fleet- Coastal Scents M17
  • Melody- Jane Millionare
  • Metamorph- Rimmel Hope
  • Midnight Blue- Jane Blue Jeans. Prestige Horizon
  • Mulch- Milani Java Bean, Loreal HIP in Saucy
  • Naked Lunch- NYX Sahara, NYX Aloha, Wet n Wild Fine Wink, Victoria's Secret Champagne
  • Nocturnelle- Milani Shock, Coastal Scents S16
  • Nylon- NYX Barely There, Milani Shock
  • Paradisco- NYX Tropical, Coastal Scents S15, Flirt Feeling Hot
  • Parfait Amour- Milani Enchantment
  • Parrot- Ulta Deep Sea, NYX Ocean, Loreal HIP in Showy
  • Passionate- NYX Cherry, Redhead, or Sunrise
  • Patina- Coastal Scents S05
  • Perverted Pearl- Milani Silver Bullet
  • Phloof- Hard Candy High Maintenance duo (Light color)
  • Pink- Freeze Milani Taffy, Prestige Ballet, Cover Girl Pink Chiffon
  • Pink Papillon- Coastal Scents S30
  • Plum Dressing- Loreal HIP duo in Cheeky, Coastal Scents S06, Coastal Scents M08
  • Print- Coastal Scents S27
  • Purple Haze- Coastal Scents S08
  • Retrospeck- Coastal Scents S37
  • Ricepaper- NYX Frosted Flake
  • Romping- Coastal Scents S21
  • Rose- Jane Prom Queen
  • Rye- Coastal Scents S28
  • Sable- Milani Java Bean, Hard Candy High Maintenance (Dark color)
  • Saddle- Coastal Scents M14
  • Satin Taupe- NYX Root Beer, Iced Mocha, or Toffee, Coastal Scents S35, Maybelline Natural Smokes Quad (Lid color), Maybelline Silken Taupe, Ulta Twilight, Rimmel Strength
  • Say Yeah- Coastal Scents S31
  • Shadowy Lady- Loreal HIP duo in Wicked
  • Shale- Milani icy Plum
  • Shimmermoss- Coastal Scents S24
  • Shroom- Milani Classic beige, NYX Frosted Flakes
  • Signed, Sealed- Coastal Scents M06
  • Sketch- Milani Marooned, Coastal Scents S28
  • Soft Brown- Coastal Scents M07
  • Solar White- Coastal Scents S07
  • Spell No. 9- Neutrogena Nourishing Eye Duo in Iced Coffee (dark color)
  • Stars n Rockets- Milani Shock
  • Steamy- Milani Clover
  • Sumptuous Olive- Milani Antiqued Gold, Coastal Scents S10, Ulta Golden Olive
  • Texture- Coastal Scents S32
  • Trax- Coastal Scents S13, Milani Desire, Flirt Glamourazzi, Prestige Flushed
  • Twinks- Coastal Scents S29
  • Typographic- Coastal Scents M23
  • Vanilla- Milani Snow Frost, Cover Girl French Vanilla, Coastal Scents M09, Maybelline Natural Smokes Quad (Brow bone color)
  • Vellum- Milani Moonlight
  • Vibrant Grape- Coastal Scents S20
  • Wedge- Loreal HIP duo in Shady
  • Woodwinked- Milani Golden Bronze, Loreal HIP duo in Wicked, Flirt Golden Lady, NYX Walnut Bronze
  • Zonk Bleu- Coastal Scents S04

Monday, November 01, 2010

Put that leftover Halloween candy to good use!

Most years we have a good bit of candy left over on Halloween and some of it goes to waste.  If you’re like me and want to actually do something with the leftovers, check out these ideas on what to do with some of it . . .

  • Donate candy to the troops overseasThe troops love the candy for themselves, but also to give out to the children in the communities they patrol.
  • Take candy to a dentist's office in your areaSome have a buy back program and donate the candy for you.
  • Save some to make treats for the upcoming holidays!

Friday, October 29, 2010

Isn't It Pretty To Think So?

Have you ever reached the point in your life where you realize you’re not a kid anymore? And, upon thinking about said realization, you look back at the past few years and realize that life is being slowly drained from you? Or maybe you’ve just been going through the motions so well that you forgot to turn your head along the way to see what surrounds you. I’m at that moment, but I think I’ve caught it early enough to retrain my brain. It’s pretty depressing actually. 8 to 5 Mon- Fri job…weekends catching up on sleep…all evenings filled with lethargy stemmed from eating out too much. The checking account decreases while the waist lines increase. Surely this is not what life is meant to be at 26?

How the hell do people manage work, social life, family, chores, and hobbies without losing their mind or depending on caffeine pills? (Jessie Spano, anyone? I’m so excited….I’m so…so…scared!) There’s a quote from my favorite book that mentions life passing by and the response is that only bull fighters know how to live life. Why can’t I get off my ass to grab the bull by the horns for once?

Cohn: “I can’t stand it to think my life is going so fast and I’m not really living it."
Jake: “Nobody ever lives their life all the way up except bull-fighters.”
-The Sun Also Rises

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